Today has been a tremendously shitty day. My dog Scoop, who is a two-time Cancer survivor, has had diabetes for the last two years. We’ve been relatively lucky to dive into that life transition, and sail the waters smoothly. However, last night at around 1:30 AM he began having a major diabetic episode. He had seizures, complete loss of motor functions, gums the color snow and general signs of Hypoglycemia. We only even noticed, because he seized and fell of the bed.
What if we hadn’t noticed? He could be gone forever.
But, we did notice. We spent a few standard hours at the emergency vet, approximately 1-years worth of salary, and they say he’s going to make it. Something strange is going on with him, because it appears he has too much insulin. Not enough is common, dosage often needs to be increased over time. But, for him, the anomaly, it seems he made need to cut back on insulin. Unheard of. Dogs almost NEVER go into remission or regression where diabetes is concerned. So. This means a lot of trial and error, a lot of vet visits, and a lot of worry on my part over the foreseeable future.
AND, OF COURSE: This is just the tip of the iceberg. To say 2018 has already been a rollercoaster is an understatement. I have had such high highs, and such low low’s. I am finding it hard to keep balance in life, and to manage stress and anxiety. Like so many people, I have long suffered from anxiety and have tried many remedies to keep it at bay (many of which help!). But, this year I am struggling to bask in the goodness that has been bestowed upon me, and to relinquish the negativity and darkness that has crept in.
BUT I’M TAKING MY LIFE BACK.
I’m setting mindful intentions to live abundantly, take life in stride and process my emotions thoroughly. I aim:
- to acknowledge sadness, anxiety, guilt and anger, and release them with deep breaths.
- To do what is best for me this year.
- To prioritize better.
- To quit wondering “what if,” and be thankful for the wins in life.
- To focus on the present.
Live, Inhale, Smile, Exhale, Repeat.
Life can change in an instant, and I need to focus on the good when there is good to be had. He’s going to be okay, and we’re going to be okay.
In other news. Today also seems to mark the 11 year anniversary of me and my hubs making our relationship facebook official. About 1.5 years after that we were lucky enough to find Scoop on the streets, and give him a furever home.
There’s something to be said about timing. There’s also something to be said about Love: it’ll make you do crazy things, like stay up all night and let google scare the shit out of you. Don’t do google. Friends don’t let friends google.
But seriously, when you can, focus on love….because, honestly, what else is the point?
(a complete and total mess, trying to turn her life around, and enjoy the precious time that life has to offer.)
Morgan Messick is a Pop-Culture fanatic, Podcast Host, Booktuber & total #BookBabe living in Austin, TX with her Husband and two dogs — Scoop & Eleanor. She aspires to grow her #TBR pile, do all of the hiking, travel as often as possible and make a joke at every turn. She utilizes laughter and yoga for daily medicine, thinks that Harry Potter is magic for all ages, and truly believes Die Hard is a great Christmas movie (SO DEAL WITH IT.)
Catch her musings here, and around the web — links in the “about” page!